Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I Used To Sleep

Once upon a time, in a very magical place, filled with unicorns and rainbows, there was a thing called sleep. I used to go there, everynight, and have some glorious rejuvinating sleep. Sleep that I took for granted. You know how everyone warns you that you should get extra sleep while you are still pregnant with your first (sleep during your 3rd trimester - tell that to my bladder! Ha!) because soon you won't be able to sleep? Yeah, well, what I didn't realize is that they meant you wouldn't sleep for like, the rest of your life, apparently.

Tall Boy slept ok as a baby, if you don't count the first three months filled with colicy-good times. I mean, who doesn't love a screaming baby for 5 hours straight every.single.night. By the time he was 2, he was finally sleeping through the night reliably. Then this magical thing happens, and next thing you know, you are pregnant.

Peanut has been a pretty good sleeper, when he actually sleeps. I'm not sure how he does it, but this child apparently has an agenda filled with super important stuff like pooping twenty times a day, and being attached to my boob all day (and night).

By the time it's 8pm, I am nursing him to sleep in a dark hole away from all noise, hoping and praying hubby will get Tall Boy into bed. My thoughts go a little something like this: "Please, for the love of chocolate, please notice it's bed time so I don't have to talk up the stairs and wake the child of no sleep. What is that noise? Don't make any noise, nooooo, for the love of... gaaaah!!!" Ah, time to start the process all over again. Who doesn't love that.

And every night I say I will go to bed early, I need to go to bed early, I am so tired. Know what time I go to bed every night? Midnight. Know what time Peanut wakes up? 1 am. Sometimes 3 am, for good measure. Then up at the butt crack of dawn at 6 am at the latest. At this point, there is not enough concealer in the world to hide my dark circles under my eyes. And I am left drooling on myself from lack of sleep. I do not have any idea how working mommies do all that, and go work. If I had to work, I have no idea how I would do it. Kudos to all those mommies - I'm looking at you, Jessie!

Now if Tall Boy wakes up, from the train going by, or needing to pee, or insert-reason-here. I am just a mess. I can't talk right, forget about thinking critically. I am lucky if I can remember to pull  my pants down before I pee.

So, I am pretty much accustomed to the fact that I will never go back to the land of unicorns and rainbows. But if I do get there, maybe it will be filled with Double Rainbows. Because it would be just that rare.


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